Envy…Some  Ways to Cure it!
   
    Envy refers to the desire that a person  feels for the destruction or removal of a blessing that another person has – a  destruction which the bearer of this feeling would himself carry out if he had  the power to. This is quite different to wanting such blessings for oneself  while not wishing for them to be removed from others, for that is, indeed, a  positive and commendable desire. Envy is an evil  disease of the heart and the cancer of the soul. If unchecked it leads to animosity,  bad behaviour, thinking evil of others, backbiting, tale-bearing and dishonesty.  It is considered to be among the most dangerous and destructive of internal  diseases and is the most destructive to a person's religion and worldly life.
    Abu Huraryah (ra) narrated that the Prophet  (peace be upon him) said, "When one of you sees  someone who has been blessed more than him in money or appearance, then let him  look at someone lesser than him, whom he has been preferred over." (Bukhari)  
    What is Envy?
      Envy is a puzzling and complex emotion.  In Christianity, it is known as one of the "Seven Deadly Sins". In  Islam, there is hasad (destructive jealousy) where the envier wishes  evil for others and to be happy when misfortune befalls them. Ghibtah,  however, is envy that is free from malice, meaning the envier neither wants the  loss of the blessing nor hating for it to remain with the person, but desiring  the same for oneself without the removal of the blessing from others.  Envy is not a respected emotion in religion, philosophy, or psychology, yet  many of us are suffering from it more and more in a world that forces us to  compare ourselves to others.
    On Social Media Networks we are forced to  look into the lives of others and wonder if our life compares as well. In  magazines and talk shows, we are forced to look into the lives of celebrities,  which leaves us wondering about our own lives. Are we thin enough,  pretty enough, successful enough, etc? Even if we try and protect our  home environment from being invaded by such images, we are bombarded with them  each time we go to the grocery store and see magazine covers promoting the  lifestyles of the rich and famous; drive through the town or freeways and see  billboards with images promoting plastic surgery; or listen to the radio and  hear advertisements for various products that will make us prettier, richer and  thinner. Young children as a result are starting to worry about their  weight and appearance at ages as young as 4-5 years old. This is  worrisome to say the least.
    "If you compare yourself  with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater  and lesser persons than yourself".
    
  How Envy Can Destroy Our Lives
    "Envy is a propensity to  view the well-being of others with distress, even though it does not detract  from one's own. [It is] a reluctance to see our own well being  overshadowed by another's because the standard we use to see how well off we  are is not the intrinsic worth of our own well being but how it compares with  that of others. [Envy] aims, at least in terms of one's wishes, at  destroying others' good fortune". 
    Envy and jealousy are often used  interchangeably but they are separate and distinct emotions. Envy is  centrally focused on the competition with another. You can channel the  desire for competition into something more productive rather than destructive.
    10 Easy Steps to Overcome  Envy
    1. Stop the comparisons!
      If you find yourself stalking your friends on  Social Media Networks or comparing yourself to celebrities, catch yourself and  STOP IT! Come up with an affirmation to soothe yourself such as "I feel  blessed with all that I have been given." Giving thanks to Allah for all  that has been bestowed upon you takes your focus on what you don't have and  brings it back to all that you do have. Make gratitude a  regular part of your day. For 30 days, write down three different things you  are grateful for at the end of each day. Volunteering at a homeless  shelter for one day is also a great way to recognize your blessings.
    2. Increase your knowledge.
      Many of us envy others, without having full  knowledge of their lives.
    "Never criticize a man  until you've walked a mile in his moccasins." –
    When we compare our lives to others, we don't  take into consideration the whole picture. Many celebrities fear aging  and gaining weight so much, they deprive themselves of nourishing sustenance in  order to maintain relevant and remain in the public eye. If we knew all  this about our favorite envied individual, would we still want to have that  life? Would it not make our life seem more stable by comparison?
    3. Recognize and embrace  your own individuality.
    We need to learn to appreciate our  differences, within ourselves and with others. We may envy the lives of  others but if it were given to us, we may actually wish for our own life back!
    Embrace what makes you unique and what's  different about you. What you consider a flaw in you might actually be  what makes you unique and special. 
    "It is much more difficult  to judge oneself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging  yourself rightly, than you are indeed a man of true wisdom."
    4. Recognize that the  success of others DOES NOT take way from your own!
    Be happy for the success and happiness of  others and remind yourself it does not take anything away from you. You  create your own path and you are responsible for your successes and failures.  There is more than enough to go around. You do not need to trample over  others to get what you deserve.
    5. Learn from the envied:  "Don't hate, appreciate and emulate!"
    Learn from those you envy. You do not  need to have all that they have but maybe you can learn from them. If  you envy a friend for their success or happiness, you can ask them their  "secret." This can deepen your friendship rather than drive the wedge of  resentment and envy further. Are they eating healthy and exercising?  You can emulate some of the positive traits and apply them to your life.  Do they look young because they take care of their skin? You can learn  from their techniques.
    6. Find out what you can do  better, how you can be better!
    Envy is a non-productive and energy zapping  emotion. You can instead channel your energy towards making yourself  better. Do you envy how creative or talented your friend is?  Explore your own creativity or talents by taking classes and experimenting with  various projects. Is your friend adventurous and you wished you traveled  more? Start saving up for that trip you've been wanting to take.  Rather than stand by and hope great things will happen to you, make things  happen.
    "Thought is  the sculptor who can create the person you want to be."
    
  7. Work within your limitations.
    Understand what is possible and accept what  isn't. If you've always wanted to jump out of a plane but are terrified  of heights, how can you achieve the sensation without having to actually jump  out of a plane? Would riding a scary roller coaster be sufficient?  Would taking a helicopter ride be equivalent? Work within your limitations and  use them to bust through the mental barriers you have set up for yourself.  You don't have to have everything in place to make your dreams a reality.  Set your intentions and you'll be amazed how things fall into place after that.  It might take years but once it happens, you'll realize it happened at just the  right time!
    8. Keep your focus on your  goals.
    You must first have goals in order to stay  focused on them. Your goals don't have to be major accomplishments.  Keep the focus of your goals on increasing your happiness and making you a  better person rather than impressing others. Do things because you want  to feel good not because you feel bad about your life.
    9. Be happy for the envied  and genuinely mean it.
    Being happy for others makes you feel happier  inside. Envy takes our focus away from the connection we all have to  each other. We envy others because we don't feel good about our own  lives. Instead of allowing envy to erode your self-esteem, boost your  self-esteem by remembering what makes you special. Focusing on your  positives will make you notice the positives in others.
    "The supplication of a  Muslim for his brother in his absence will certainly be answered.  Everytime he makes a supplication for good for his brother, the angel appointed  for this particular task says: `Ameen! May it be for you, too'."  (Muslim). 
    10. Be the best that you  can be.
    Focus on an area of your life that needs  improving, whether it's to become a better person, gossip less, give more, take  more time for yourself, get a makeover, get a massage, or learn a new skill.  When you feel good about yourself, it's easier to be good to those around you.  Confidence and self-esteem are at the core of success and happiness.  Work on improving and increasing your self-esteem and self-confidence.
    The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)  said: "The deeds of anyone of you will not save you from the Fire." They  said, "Even you, [will not be saved by your deeds] O Allah's Apostle?"  He said, "No, even I [will not be saved] unless and  until Allah bestows His Mercy on me. Therefore,  do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately, and worship Allah in the forenoon and in the  afternoon and during a part of the night, and always adopt a middle, moderate,  regular course whereby you will reach your target." (Bukhari)