How I Came to Love the Veil

How I Came to Love the Veil

By  Yvonne Ridley-Editor and Writer

Politicians and journalists just love to write about the oppression of women in Islam ... without even talking to the females beneath the veil. They simply have no idea how Muslim women are protected and respected within the Islamic framework which was built more than 1400 years ago. Yet, by writing about cultural issues like child brides, female circumcision, honor killings, and forced marriages, they wrongly believe they are coming from a point of knowledge. And I am sick of Saudi Arabia being cited as an example of how women are subjugated in a country where they are banned from driving. The issues above have simply nothing to do with Islam yet they still write and talk about them with an arrogant air of authority while wrongly blaming Islam. Please do not confuse cultural behavior with Islam. Misinterpretations I was asked to write about how Islam allows men to beat their wives. Sorry, not true. Yes, I'm sure critics of Islam will quote random Qur'anic verses or hadiths but all are usually taken out of context. If a man does raise a finger to his wife, he is not allowed to leave a mark on her body ... this is another way of the Qur'an saying "Don't beat your wife, stupid." Now let's take a glance at some really interesting statistics, hmm. I can almost hear the words pot, kettle, black. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, four million American women experience a serious assault by a partner during an average 12-month period. I was asked to write about how Islam allows men to beat their wives. Sorry, not true. On the average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands and boyfriends every day ... that is nearly 5,500 women battered to death since 9/11. Some might say that is a shocking indictment on such a civilized society, but before I sound too smug, I would say that violence against women is a global issue. Violent men do not come in any particular religious or cultural category. The reality is that one out of three women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Violence against women transcends religion, wealth, class, skin color, and culture. Equality Illusion However, until Islam came on the scene women were treated as inferior beings. In fact we women still have a problem in the West where men think they are superior. This is reflected in our promotion and wages structure right across the spectrum from cleaners to career women who make it into the boardroom. Western women are still treated as commodities, where sexual slavery is on the rise, disguised under marketing euphemisms, where women's bodies are traded throughout the advertising world. As mentioned before, this is a society where rape, sexual assault, and violence on women are commonplace, a society where the equality between men and women is an illusion, a society where a woman's power or influence is usually only related to the size of her breasts. I used to look at veiled women as quiet, oppressed creatures and now I look at them as multi-skilled, multi-talented, resilient women whose brand of sisterhood makes Western feminism pale into insignificance. My views changed after the truly terrifying experience of being arrested by the Taliban for sneaking into Afghanistan in September 2001 wearing the bhurka.   During my 10-day captivity I struck a deal that if they let me go I would read the Qur'an and study Islam. Against all the odds, it worked and I was released. In return I kept my word, but as a journalist covering the Middle East I realized I needed to expand my knowledge of a religion which was clearly a way of life. And no. I'm not a victim of Stockholm Syndrome. To be a victim you have to bond with your captors. During my imprisonment I spat, swore, cursed and abused my jailers as well as refused their food and went on hunger strike. I don't know who was happier when I was released — them or me! Women in Islam Reading the Qur'an was, I thought, going to be a very simple academic exercise. I was stunned to discover that it clearly stated women are equal in spirituality, education, and worth. A woman's gift for child birth and child-rearing is very much recognized as a quality and attribute. Muslim women say with pride they are homemakers and housewives. Furthermore the Prophet (peace be upon him) said that the most important person in the home was The Mother, The Mother, The Mother. In fact he also said that heaven lies at the feet of the mother. How many women make it into the top 100 power lists for simply being a "great mother"? With Islam, choosing to remain at home and raise children takes on a new dignity and respect in my eyes, similar to those sisters among us who choose to go out to work and have careers and professions. I then began looking at inheritance, tax, property, and divorce laws. This is where Hollywood divorce lawyers probably get their inspiration from. For instance the woman gets to keep what she earns and owns while the man has to stump up half his worth. Isn't it funny the way the tabloid media gets very excited over the prospect of some pop or film star's prenuptial wedding agreement? Muslim women have had wedding contracts from day one. They can choose if they want to work or not, and anything they earn is theirs to spend while the husband has to pay for all the household bills and the upkeep of his family. Just about everything that feminists strived for in the '70s was already available to Muslim women 1400 years ago. As I said, Islam dignifies and brings respect to motherhood and being a wife. If you want to stay at home, stay at home. It is a great honor to be a homemaker and the first educator of your children. But equally, the Qur'an states if you want to work, then work. Be a career woman, learn a profession, become a politician. Be what you want to be and excel in what you do as a Muslim because everything you do is in praise of Allah (swt). Business Suit There is an excessive, almost irritating concentration or focus on the issue of Muslim women's dress particularly by men (both Muslim and non-Muslim). Yes, it is an obligation for Muslim women to dress modestly but, in addition, there are many other important issues which concern Muslim women today. And yet everyone obsesses over the hijab. Look, it is part of my business suit. This tells you I am a Muslim and therefore I expect to be treated with respect. Can you imagine if someone told a Wall Street executive or Washington banker to put on a t-shirt and jeans? He would tell you his business suit defines him during work hours, marks him out to be treated seriously. And yet in Britain we have had the former Foreign Secretary Jack Straw describing the nikab — the face veil revealing only the eyes — as an unwelcome barrier. When, oh when, will men learn to keep their mouths shut over a woman's wardrobe? We also had Government Ministers Gordon Brown and John Reid express disparaging remarks about the nikab — both these men come from over the Scottish Borders where men wear skirts!! Then we had a series of other parliamentarians enter the fray describing the nikab as a barrier for communication. What a load of nonsense. If this was the case can anyone explain to me why cell phones, landlines, e-mails, text messaging, and fax machines are in daily use? Who listens to the radio? No one switches off the wireless because they cannot see the face of the presenter. The majority of sisters I know who choose to wear the nikab are actually white, Western reverts who no longer want the unwelcome attention of those few leering men who will try and confront females and launch into inappropriate behavior. Mind you, there are a couple of London sisters I know who say they wear the nikab at anti-war marches because they can't stand the smell of spliffs. Last Refuge I am afraid Islamophobia has become the last refuge of the racist scoundrel. But the cowardly, chauvinistic attacks launched — largely by men — are unacceptable to Muslimahs as well as their secular, female sisters from the left. I was a feminist for many years and now, as an Islamic feminist, I still promote women's rights. The only difference is Muslim feminists are more radical than their secular counterparts. We all hate those ghastly beauty pageants, and tried to stop laughing when the emergence of Miss Afghanistan in bikini was hailed as a giant leap for women's liberation in Afghanistan. I've been back to Afghanistan many times and I can tell you there are no career women emerging from the rubble in Kabul. My Afghan sisters say they wish the West would drop its obsession with the bhurka. "Don't try turning me into a career woman, get my husband a job first. Show me how I can send my children to school without fear of them being kidnapped. Give me security and bread on the table," one sister told me. Young feminist Muslimahs see the hijab and the nikab as political symbols as well as a religious requirement. Some say it is their way of showing the world they reject the excesses of Western lifestyles such as binge drinking, casual sex, drug-taking, etc. Superiority in Islam is accomplished through piety, not beauty, wealth, power, position or sex. Liberation of Islam Now you tell me what is more liberating. Being judged on the length of your skirt and the size of your cosmetically enhanced breasts, or being judged on your character, mind, and intelligence? Glossy magazines tell us as women that unless we are tall, slim, and beautiful we will be unloved and unwanted. The pressure on teenage magazine readers to have a boyfriend is almost obscene. Islam tells me that I have a right to an education and it is my duty to go out and seek knowledge whether I am single or married. Nowhere in the framework of Islam are we told as women that we must do washing, cleaning, or cooking for men — but it is not just Muslim men who need to re-evaluate women in their home. Check out this 1992 exerpt from a Pat Robertson speech revealing his views on empowered women. And then you tell me who is civilized and who is not. He said, "FEMINISM ENCOURAGES WOMEN TO LEAVE THEIR HUSBANDS, KILL THEIR CHILDREN, PRACTICE WITCHCRAFT, DESTROY CAPITALISM AND BECOME LESBIANS." Here is an American man living in a pre-Islamic age who needs to modernize and civilize. People like him are wearing a veil and we need to tear that veil of bigotry away so people can see Islam for what it is.

FEAR ,HOPE & TURNING TO ALLAH

FEAR ,HOPE & TURNING TO ALLAH
Almighty Allah says, "No one despairs of solace from Allah except for those who are unbelievers." (Quran-12:87)
Anas said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'Allah Almighty says, "O son of Adam! I will forgive you as long as you call on Me and have hope in Me, no matter what you do. Son of Adam, I do not care if your wrong actions reach to the clouds of heaven and then you ask Me for forgiveness, I will forgive you. Son of Adam, if you were to come with sins equivalent in weight to the whole earth and then meet Me having not associated anything with Me, I would come to you with the same amount of forgiveness.'" [Hadith-Tirmidhi]
Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, "None of you should wish for death because of a calamity befalling him; but if he has to wish for death, he should say: 'O Allah! Keep me alive as long as life is better for me, and let me die if death is better for me.'"
Jabir ibn 'Abdullah reported that he heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say three days before his death, "None of you should die without having a good opinion of Allah, the Mighty and Exalted."  [Haith-Muslim]
Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Allah, the Mighty and Exalted, said, 'I treat my slave according to his expectations of Me and I am with My slave when he remembers Me. Anyone who approaches Me by a hand-span, I approach him by an arm-span. Anyone who approaches Me by an arm-span, I approach him by two armspans. If he comes to me walking, I come to him running." [Hadith]

The Story of Alqamah

The Story of Alqamah

At the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him), there was a young man named Alqamah. He was very diligent in obeying Allah by engaging in prayer and fasting and spending in charity. Then he fell ill and his illness became serious. His wife went to the Prophet and said, "My husband, Alqamah, is on his deathbed. I therefore came to tell you, Messenger of Allah, about his condition." The Prophet (then) sent for Ammar or Suhaib and Bilal, and told them to go to him (Alqamah) and have him repeat the Shahadah. Thereupon they went to him and found him in the agony of death. They asked him to say, "La illaha illa Allah," but his tongue was unable to pronounce it. At that, they came and told the Messenger of Allah that he was unable to repeat the Shahadah.

The Prophet asked, "Is either of his parents alive?" He was told, "Messenger of Allah, his mother is, but she is very old." The Prophet sent her a message that if it was convenient for her (that is, is she was able to go out), she should come to him; otherwise she should stay in her house and the Prophet would come to her.

The Prophet's messenger came to her and informed her of the Prophet's message. She said, "May my life be a ransom for him, it is my pleasure to go to him!" She then stood up, leaning on her walking stick, and came to the Prophet and greeted him. The Prophet returned her greeting and said to her, "Umm Alqamah, tell me the truth, for otherwise Allah Most High will reveal the truth to me! What is the situation concerning your son, Alqamah?" She replied, "Messenger of Allah, he prays much, fasts a great deal, and spends a great amount in charity." The Prophet said, "And what about yourself?" She said, "Messenger of Allah, I am angry with him." He said, "Why?" She replied, "Messenger of Allah, he has preferred his wife to me and has disobeyed me." Then Allah's Messenger said, "Umm Alqamah, surely your anger has prevented Alqamah's tongue from pronouncing the Shahadah."

He then turned to Bilal and said, "Bilal, go out and collect a quantity of firewood." She said, "Messenger of Allah, what do you plan to do?" He replied, "I will burn him in front of your eyes." She said, "Messenger of Allah, he is my son! My heart cannot bear your burning him in front of me!" He said, "Umm Alqamah, Allah's punishment is more severe and more lasting! Therefore, if you want Allah to forgive him, be reconciled to him. By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, the prayer, fasting, and spending in charity (which he has done) are of no benefit to Alqamah as long as you are angry with him! Thereupon she said, "Messenger of Allah, I call upon Allah Most High and His angels and the Muslims who are present to be my witnesses that I am pleased with my son Alqamah." Allah's Messenger said, "Bilal, go to him and see whether he is now able to say, "La illaha illa Allah" or not. It may be that Umm Alqamah is saying something for my sake which is not in her heart."

Thereupon Bilal went, and while entering the door he heard Alqamah saying, "La illaha illa Allah." (Concerning this), Bilal remarked, "It is surely true that while Alqamah's mother was angry with him his tongue was tied, and now that she is pleased with him his tongue is freed." Alqamah died the same day. The Prophet came to him and gave the order for his washing and shrouding, and then prayed the funeral prayer for him and buried him. He then stood by the side of his grave and said, "You company of Muhajireen and Helpers, if anyone favors his wife over his mother, Allah and His angels and all the people curse him! Allah does not accept his spending (in charity) and his uprightness unless he repents toward Allah, the Glorious and Majestic, and reconciles with her and attains her pleasure, because Allah's pleasure consists in her pleasure and Allah's anger consists in her anger."

Source: Reported in Tabarani and Ahmed.

We must always be respectful and obedient to our parents. However, we are not to obey them if they order us to disobey Allah and His Prophet[pbuh]. Other than this, they deserve our utmost attention and respect.

The Last Sermon of Muhammad [Peace be upon him]

      The Last Sermon of

Muhammad[Peace be upon him]

*

Final Messenger of Allah  

                  

[This sermon was delivered on the ninth day of Dhul Hijjah 10 a.h in the Uranah Valley of Mount Arafat]

"O People, lend me an attentive ear, for I don't know whether, after this year, I shall ever be amongst you again. Therefore listen to what I am saying to you carefully and take these words to those who could not be present here today.

O People, just as you regard this month, this day, this city as Sacred, so regard the life and property of every Muslim as a sacred trust. Return the goods entrusted to you to their rightful owners. Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you.

Remember that you will indeed meet your Lord, and that He will indeed reckon your deeds. Allah has forbidden you to take usury (Interest), therefore all interest obligation shall henceforth be waived..

Beware of Satan, for your safety of your religion. He has lost all hope that he will ever be able to lead you astray in big things, so beware of following him in small things.

O People, it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women, but they also have right over you. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness.

 Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with any one of whom you do not approve, as well as never to commit adultery.

O People, listen to me in earnest, worship Allah, say your five daily prayers (Salah), fast during the month of Ramadhan, and give your wealth in Zakat.Perform Hajj if you can afford to.

 All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. Nothing shall be legitimate to a Muslim which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly. Do not, therefore, do injustice to yourselves.

Remember, one day you will appear before Allah and answer for your deeds. So beware, do not astray from the path of righteousness after I am gone.

O People, no prophet or apostle will come after me and no new faith will be born. Reason well, therefore, O People, and understand my words which I convey to you. I leave behind me two things, the Qur'an and my example, the Sunnah and if you follow these you will never go astray.

All those who listen to me shall pass on my words to others and those to others again; and may the last ones understand my words better than those who listen to me directly.

Be my witness oh Allah that I have conveyed your message to your people."

Final Messenger of Allah- Muhammad Rasulullah [peace be upon him]

The Beloved and Final Messenger 

Rasulullah Muhammad 

Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam[peace be upon him]

 

"We have not sent thee(Muhammad[pbuh]) Except as a Mercy to the Worlds." (Surah 21 Aayat 107)

 

"Certainly, there is an excellent example for you in the Messenger of Allah, for him who looks forward to Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah much." (Quran-33:21)

 

 

Muhammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam rose like the sun from the horizon of Arabia and dissipated the intense darkness around the globe. His personality embodied the boldness of Mûsa alayhis salâm , the courteousness of Harûn alayhis salâm , the patience of Ayûb alayhis salâm , the grandeur of Sulaiman alayhis salâm and the humility of Isa alayhis salâm. His leadership stands unparalleled in the annals of history. He despised the pomp of royalty, dutifully carried out the menial tasks of the family, he kindled the fire, swept the floor, milked the cows and mended his own shoes and garments.

 

 

The Mission of  Muhammad(Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam)

 

The mission of Nabi sallallahu alayhi wasallam is eloquently portrayed in a speech which Ja'far (radhi allahu anhu) made to the ruler of Abyssinia in Africa. He said :

 

"O king! We were a people of ignorance, worshiping idols, eating the flesh of dead animals, committing abominations, neglecting our relations, doing evil to our neighbours and the strong amongst us would oppress the weak. We were in this state when Allah Ta'ala sent to us a messenger from amongst us, whose descent and sincerity, trustworthiness and honesty were known to us. He summoned us to the worship of one true Allah and to divest ourselves of the stones and idols which we and our forefathers had been ascribing to Allah. He ordered us to be truthful in speech, to fulfill all that is entrusted to us, to care for our relatives, to be kind to our neighbours, to refrain from unlawful food and the consumption of blood. He forbade us from engaging in shameful acts and false speech..."

 

The Fundamental Principles Expounded by  Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam at the Farewell Pilgrimage

1. Belief in one object of worship
2. Equality of men, irrespective of colour or nationality.
3. Superiority based solely on piety.
4. Sanctity of life, property and honour.
5. Abolition of interest and usury.
6. The rights and fair treatment of women.
7. The concept of accountability and personal responsibility.
8. Importance of the pillars of religion i.e. prayer, fasting, charity and pilgrimage.
9. The Qur'ân and sunnah as the only source of salvation.
10. The obligation of (dawah & tabligh)conveying the message.

 

The Messenger of Allah Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

"None of you has perfect faith until I am more beloved to him than his parents, his children and all the people". 

(Hadith)

 

Importance of Salaat-Salaam (Durood Shareef/ Sending Blessings) 

     "Allah and his angels send blessings on the Prophet. O you who believe! Send your blessings on him, and salute him with all respects." (The Holy Quran 56:33)

 

Abdullah Ibn Abbas Radiallahu anhu reports that Rasulullah (pbuh) said,

   "Whoever recites the following Salaat-Salaam(Durood) once, Allah will instruct the angels to keep writing good  deeds for him for a thousand days."

 Jazallahu annaa muhammadan ma huwa ahluhu

Translation: May Allah reward Muhammad, on our behalf, as much as he deserves. (Hadith recorded in Tabrani)

May Allah bestow us with true and sincere Love of Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam and may Allah give us the strenght and courage to follow the noble and beautiful lifestyle of the the Last & Final Messenger of Allah Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam- Ameen

Enjoy the Water and Be Safe!

Enjoy the Water and Be Safe!

Pools are awesome! What could be better than a dip in the pool and fun in the sun?

Keeping ourselves and our kids fit and healthy within the laws of Sharia is an important part of Deen(Islam).

 

The Messenger of Allah Muhammad[peace be upon him)said, "Teach your children swimming, archery and horse riding".

 

A child has a right to sustenance, education, and proper care. The parents or guardians are not permitted to neglect the child's needs nor to abuse it The Prophet (peace be on him) said: "Each one of you is a caretaker (ra'iy) and is responsible for those under his care." (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim)

 

"Allah will ask every caretaker (ra'iy) about the people under his care, and the man will be asked concerning the people of his household." (Reported by Ahmad, al-Nisai, and Abu Daoud)

 

Drowning is the second most common cause of death from injuries among kids under the age of 14. Parents/guardians should not be fooled into thinking that their child is safe just because he/she knows how to swim. In a lot of cases accidents happened even though the child knew swimming. Accidents in the swimming pool can happen very suddenly without warning. It is very important that all parents follow these basic safety precautions especially if there is a swimming pool at home.

Drowning can happen so fast — sometimes in less than a minute after a person's head goes under the water. That leaves very little time for someone to help.

Many drownings and near-drownings occur when a kid accidentally falls into a swimming pool. But accidents can happen anywhere — at someone's home or even at your own house, and that's why you need to know how to be safe around water.

Some Handy Tips!

• Always make dua and ask Allah's help and protection before swimming. At least say : "Bismillah" (I begin in the name of Allah) and say " Oh Allah Grant me safety and protection from any harm and keep me always safe and healthy"
• Always ensure that the swim outfits appropriate within the expectable limits of sharia.
• Never - not even for a second, leave children alone around open standing water of any kind - Swimming Pool, Spa, Pond, River etc…
• Always know where your children are.
• Never rely entirely on a safety device or product - nothing can replace constant adult supervision.
• Never allow your children to swim alone or without an adult present.
• Check the pool first when your child is missing.
• Never think or assume that someone is watching your child unless you have designated an adult to watch the water.
• When entertaining or using the pool always designate an adult, who can swim, to watch the water at all times. If there are many kids going to swim than it is better to hire a lifeguard.
• Maintain your pool. Keep the water clear and clean so visibility is kept at a maximum.
• Do not swim in thunderstorms or any bad weather.
• Position all swimming pool jets in such a way that any floating objects will end up in the shallow end of the pool close to the steps or ladder.
• Remove all toys and floating objects from the pool when it is not in use.
• Never allow bikes and 'rideable' toys in the pool area.
• Have a telephone/mobile phone available. Have a list of emergency numbers easily accessible.
• Never go to answer a door or telephone bell while your children are swimming or your pool is unprotected. Take them out first!
• Buy and have on hand safety equipment - life preservers, life jackets, etc...
• If you have a pool safety fence - do not leave chairs, ladders or other objects near the pool that would allow a child to climb up and over. Make sure all fence gates have self-closing latches.

• Make sure your child understands how jumping or diving into water can result in injury. Know the depth of the water and the location of underwater hazards before permitting children to jump or dive.
• Teach your children to swim and cope with all conditions of all types of water - e.g. depth, water temperature, tides, currents, and weather.
• Use approved personal flotation devices whenever on a boat or fishing, and while playing near a river, lake, or ocean.
• Teach your child to never attempt to rescue a pet without adult supervision
• Inform your child of the methods to obtain help.
• Learn CPR and support the inclusion of CPR training in school.
• Counsel children especially teenagers about the dangers of alcohol and drug consumption. Teenage pool parties are prone to these activities and can have fatal consequences.
• Remove all water from containers, such as drums , baths etc immediately after use and put containers away.
• Do not leave children unattended in the bathroom. Never leave a child unattended in the bath. Keep toilet lids closed and locked and bath plugs out of reach.
• Make sure children's caregivers and supervisors know all the safety precautions and are fully trained in CPR.
• Swim at a depth that is safe for you. If you're just learning to swim, stay in the shallow end.
• Don't push or jump on others. You could accidentally hurt someone or yourself.
• Toys to help you float come in many shapes and sizes (an inner tube, air mattress, or beach ball, for example). Although they are fun and can help you while you learn to swim, what they can't do is save a life. They're toys that can lose air or float away.
• Remember a pool's sides and bottom are usually made of concrete, a rock-hard material. A slip or fall could be painful and dangerous.
• Don't chew gum or eat while you swim — you could choke.
•   Surround your pool on all round with a sturdy fence.
• Make sure the gates self-close and self-latch at a height children can't reach.
• Always than Allah after every swimming session. Say: "Allhamdulillah" (All Praise belongs to Allah) and say: "Oh Allah we thank you for allowing us to swim safely and always keeps us in Your protection"  Ameen!
  
  Wherever you're swimming, do have a waterfall of fun!

                      

SINCERE GRATITUTE AND REGRET!!!

SINCERE GRATITUTE AND REGRET!!! 

Willingness to accept responsibility for the harm we may have caused or express thankfulness for the benefits we may have received are signs of moral maturity

How uncommon has common courtesy become? "Thank you" and "I'm sorry" are amazingly powerful expressions that could convey authentic appreciation or genuine remorse. These are common phrases that are unfortunately becoming increasingly rare.

"If you give thanks , I will give you more (of My Blessings).'' (Quran 14:7)

The Messenger of Allah [peace be upon him] said :"He who does not thank people, does not thank Allah". ( Ahmad, Tirmidhi )

One of the most devastating realities has been the fact that people for whom you truly care and for whom you do the most are often the ones who turn out to be the most ungrateful. They suffer deliberate amnesia (forgetfulness) and, in the process, even deny their indebtedness. Those for whom you would stake your prized privileges are often the ones who later undermine your integrity for the sake of fame or material gain. Such are they who have no conscience.

Conscience is that internal compass that directs us towards sound moral judgement. It measures our attitudes and conduct in relation to our ethical principles. Conscience manifests its judgements with the reward of peace of mind for those who do what they should, and with the penalty of guilt for those who don't. If we consider ourselves good, and don't have the decency to do what we should, then we are not really as good as we think we are.

People of conscience are people of character and good character (akhlaaq) is in fact ethics in action. People of character have the emotional intelligence to realize their errors and to acknowledge their indebtedness to others and thus possess the moral courage to express genuine regret by saying "I'm sorry," or genuine appreciation by saying "Thank you".

Willingness to accept responsibility for the harm we may have caused or express thankfulness for the benefits we may have received are signs of moral maturity. Heartfelt apologies could lead to reconciliation and easing of tension while sincere expressions of gratitude are valued gifts to people who have privileged us. Absence of an appropriate thanks or an owed apology could be damaging.

Don't get  it wrong, people do sometimes use "Thank you" and "I'm sorry" but merely as a hollow rule of custom. In one's absence they negate their thankfulness or regret in the company of others. Such "Thank you " and "Sorry" means absolutely nothing. We even teach our little kindergarten kids to say "Thank you" but too often it connotes only formalistic politeness without nurturing true feelings of gratitude. If we say "Thank you" without really feeling thankful or "Sorry" without experiencing real regret then these words merely serve as mindless rituals; just like a wrapped gift box without any gift inside.

It takes strength of ego and tremendous moral fortitude to comply with ethical standards of true accountability.

The arrogant and the morally bankrupt do not, therefore, express remorse or regret easily. Genuine apology arises out of a conscience that values ethical principles of respect and responsibility. The only kind of apology that truly merits forgiveness is the apology of those who sincerely acknowledge and accept personal accountability for their misconduct and genuinely regret the consequences of their wrongdoings. The Prophet [pbuh]is reported to have said: "Real regret (nadam) is the basis for true repentance."

The ethical dimension to gratitude demands genuine thankfulness proportionate to the blessings received, never to deny those blessings nor devalue the worth of those who so bless us.

The Messenger of Allah Muhammad [peace be upon him] said:"The Merciful One shows mercy to those who are themselves merciful (to others). So show mercy to whatever is on earth, then He who is in heaven will show mercy to you " ( Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi )