Pearls of Wisdom No: 28 -Respecting Elders

Pearls of Wisdom: No.28

"Food for the Soul"

 

Subject:  Respecting Elder's

Allah, The Most Exalted, says:

"Your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. If one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them a word of disrespect, or scold them, but say a generous word to them. And act humbly to them in mercy, and say, 'My Lord, have mercy on them, since they cared for me when I was small." (Qur'aan-17: 23-24)

The Noble Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) is reported to have said:

"He is not of us who does not have mercy on young children, nor honour the elderly"
(Hadith-Al-Tirmidhi)

Note:  The duty of caring for one's parents and elderly in our society in this most difficult time of their lives is considered an honour and a blessing and an opportunity for great spiritual growth. In Islam, it is not enough that we only pray for our elders especially our parents, but we should act with limitless compassion, remembering that when we were helpless children, they preferred us to themselves. When peoples reach old age, they are treated mercifully, with kindness and selflessness. In Islam, serving elderly, in particular one's parents is a duty second to prayer, and it is their right to expect it. It is considered despicable to express any irritation when, through no fault of their own, the old become weak and vulnerable.

For an inspirational story on RESPECT FOR ELDERS please visit:

http://eislaminfo.blogspot.com/2013/04/respect-for-aged.html

Respect for Aged

What goes around…comes around!

Respect for our elders-The Story of the Wooden Bowl

 

 

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year - old grandson.

The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.

When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.

'We must do something about father,' said the son. 'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.'

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.

Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.

He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded,

'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up. ' The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

Remember what goes around comes around! How you treat your elders so will you be treated.

Allah, The Most Wise, says: "And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents" [Al-Qur'an 29: 8]

"And your Lord has decreed (commanded) that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents..." [Al-Qur'an 17: 23]

The Messenger of Allah, Muhammad(peace be upon him) is reported to have said:

 "A parent is the best of the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it."[Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4928 :Narrated byAbu Darda ]

These are few, there are lot more that describe the importance and value of parents. So you see, This is like a chain. Today you give respect, love and honour to your parents and tomorrow you will get it all from your children InshaAllah! Let us all be wise builders and role models for our children.

So now Choose Yourself what do you want to take with you in your old time, A WOODEN BOWL or A FRUITFUL TREE.

Stop Women Abuse

Be mindful in your treatment of women!

Abu Muhammed

 

The recent violent rape and mutilation of a 17 year old girl in the 'sleepy' town of Bredasdorp in the Cape Province of South Africa sparked country wide outrage and anger. While this incident has placed South Africa squarely in the international limelight as being the 'Rape Capital' of the world with an estimated 683 000 incidents of rape annually, it has to be stated that Rape is an international phenomena that takes place both in developed and developing countries, in countries traditionally classified as 'civilised' and 'first world' as well as those known as 'uncivilised' and 'third world'. While we can go down the route of making this issue a 'numbers game' and declaring the country with the lowest incidence of rape to be most civilised, the fact of the matter is that even one rape is one too much. Rape is reflective of a deep-seated, systemic dysfunctionality of a society wherein women are treated with total disrespect having no value.

 On the scale of 'ill treatment and disrespect shown to women' rape may well weigh the heaviest, given its gruesome nature and violation of a woman's honour there are many other acts of physical, verbal and psychological abuse, mostly domestic perpetrated against women even in the most civilised countries and societies, symptomatic of a serious underlying psychological problem in the manner and way women are treated. In America, the so called bastion of freedom and liberties of the modern world and the protagonist of modern day feminism,

·         22 million women in the United States have been raped in their lifetime. (National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010)

·         More women are injured due to domestic violence than those injured in car accidents and muggings combined ('Hope Alliance report')

·         One woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds (UN Study on the Status of Women)

·         25% of American women will suffer domestic violence in their lifetimes (Survey of Women's health)

·          Cost of domestic violence by partners exceeds $5.8 billion of which $4.1 billion are for direct medical and mental health costs. More than 8 million days of paid work lost collectively by victims of domestic violence which is equivalent to the loss of 32 000 full-time jobs (Cost of Intimate Partner violence against women in the United States, – Centres for Disease Control & Prevention, Atlanta) 

If such is the incidence of physical abuse one can well imagine the level of verbal and psychological abuse and general disrespect that women face. The manifestation of abuse is nothing other than a reflection of the psyche of society moulded, shaped and churned out by the mass media machinery where women are used to sell anything from a tooth pick to a truck tyre! Hence women are seen as nothing other than commodities and sex objects whose only function is to serve the visual and physical gratification of men. A woman is judged more on her physical appearance than her mental and intellectual capacity. The multimillion dollar fashion and cosmetic industry, which generates almost $600 billion a year, is sufficient proof of this.

The current situation that women the world over find themselves in, although camouflaged by all the glitz and glamour, is not very different to the situation that women found themselves in during the period of Jaahiliya (Ignorance) of pre Islamic Arabia.  Arabia was a male-dominated society. Women had no status or rights of any kind other than as sex objects and commodities that could be bought, sold and even disposed of. The number of women a man could marry was not fixed. When a man died, his son 'inherited' all his wives except his own mother. A savage custom of the society was to bury their female infants alive. Modern day abortion being no different other than being more sophisticated. Even if a man did not wish to bury his daughter alive, he still had to uphold this 'honourable' tradition, being unable to resist social pressures. Drunkenness and gambling were common vices. It was during such times that women were sold off in lieu of debts or offered as guarantees. One point worthy of mention is that in spite of women being treated in the manner mentioned above it was still considered an act of cowardice for a man to violently attack or show aggression to a woman.

It was at this time and to such a community of drunken, male dominated and war mongering people that Allah Ta'ala chose to send His Final Prophet (May Peace be upon him) with the final revelation – Al Quraan. In a period of 23 years the Noble Messenger of Allah made such an effort and prepared these 'backward' desert dwellers to become the beacons of light that would radiate out of the sand dunes of the deserts of Arabia to illuminate the minds, hearts and souls of humanity who were then grovelling in the oceans of darkness. Together with removing Idol worship, forging human brotherhood between the black and the white, the slave and the master, uplifting the oppressed and downtrodden, giving hope to the weak, inculcating sober habits and perfecting good character he also redefined the position of women in society and restored to them their equality, honour, dignity, humanity and position in society. No more was a woman a mere commodity with no rights but rather she was recognised as an individual with full rights to ownership, education, inheritance, respect, honour and marriage. Perhaps the highest accolade given to a woman was that Islam recognised her sacrifice during child bearing and birth (Qur'an-Surah 46, Verse 15) and therefore made her deserving of most respect from her children even above the father (Hadith-Bukhari & Muslim) and also categorically stating that 'Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother' (Hadith-Ahmad, Nasai)

This venerated position of women was imprinted on the psyche of every male of the society. This was achieved through equating the service and happiness of parents to great and meritorious acts like striving in the Path of Allah and Hijrah (migration) for the sake of Allah. Such was the zeal with which the once male dominated society treated and served their women that a companion once carried his mother on his back to allow for her to fulfil the rights of the Haj (Pilgrimage) and yet thereafter acknowledging that he had not fulfilled the right of her one 'turning' towards him as an infant out of concern for his well being.

 The Noble Messenger of Allah(peace be upon him) also said, 'Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their women well' (Hadith-Tirmidhi). In another narration it is mentioned 'I command you to take good care of the women' (Hadith-Bukhari) and also, 'Do not beat Allah's female servants (i.e women)' (Hadith-Abu Da'ud, Ibn Majah). The Noble Messenger of Allah(peace be upon him) also said 'How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats his camel and then embraces her?' (Hadith-Al-Bukhari) 

Based on the above some scholars like Ata bin Rabah (May Allah's mercy be with him) stated, the fact that the Noble Messenger of Allah(pbuh) never resorted to the permission of beating and said, 'He who beats his wife is not a good person' (Hazimi, al-Itibar)

From the above we learn that Islam encourages the kind treatment of women and forbids in both word and spirit, their abuse in any form, be it physical, verbal, emotional and psychological. It therefore stands to reason that rape is something that Islam condemns in the strongest terms and, in fact a rapist in an Islamic country would be sentenced to death by the Islamic courts

It was this type of thought that permeated the psyche of Muslim societies from the time of the Noble Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)until this day and any behaviour to the contrary by Muslims today is nothing other than their deviation from the principles advocated by Islam and the lifestyle of the Noble Messenger of Allah(pbuh). Issues like honour killings and spousal abuse in Muslim societies which are often highlighted in the media and for which Islam is criticised are practices that have their place in culture and have no basis in the Qur'aan and Sunnah.  Shariah always has an 'inner' as well as an 'outer' mechanism that are used to achieve its objectives. In the issue discussed, if the psyche of the society could be described as the 'inner' mechanism to allow for women to be respected and honoured then it must be said as an 'outer' mechanism Islam advocates the institution of Hijab so that women are judged for what they are truly worth and not merely objects for men's gratification. As much as the media always makes an issue of and maligns the treatment of women in Islam it is interesting to note that Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world (Guiness book of records) and in the west, in particular, most reverts are women who have no hesitation in donning the hijab. In fact, they do so with much pride. 

In Islam rape and all other forms of women abuse are reviled. In fact The Noble Messenger of Allah (pbuh) discouraged and penalised adultery, fornication and rape.

Wa'il ibn Hujr reports of an incident when a woman was raped. When he the rapist was later positively identified the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him ) said "Stone him to death." (Hadith-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud).

May  Almighty Allah Ta'ala grant us the wisdom, courage and moral strength to uphold the rights and dignity of our women in society …ameen. 

April Fool's Day

Who's fooling who???...April Fool's Day

By Abu Muhammad Yusuf

 

It may be "cool"…but it's a foolish and unislamic practise of another fool!

Allah, The Most Wise, says:

 "Truly Allah guides not one who transgresses and lies." (Qur'an-40:28)

"Curse of Allah upon those who lie." (Qur'an-3:61)

Origins and History of April Fool Day

There are differing opinions concerning how this day originated:

·          Some said it developed from the celebrations of spring at the equinox on March 21.

·         Some said that this innovation appeared in France in 1564 CE, after the introduction of a new calendar, when a person who had refused to accept the new calendar became the victim of some people who had subjected him to embarrassment and made fun of him, so he became a laughing-stock for others.

·         Some said that this innovation goes back to ancient times and the pagan celebrations connected to a specific date at the beginning of spring, so this is the remnant of pagan rituals. It was said that hunting in some countries was unsuccessful during the first days of the hunt in some countries. This was the origin of these lies which are made up on the first day of April.

·         The Europeans call "April Fool" le poisson d'avril (lit. "April fish"). The reason for this is that the sun moves from the zodiacal house of Pisces to the next house, or because the word poisson, which means fish, is a distortion of the word passion, which means suffering, so it is a symbol of the suffering endured by Jesus (peace be upon him), according to the claims of the Christians, and they claim that this happened in the first week of April.

·          Presently people call this day April Fools' Day, as it is known to the English. That is because of the lies that they tell so that those who hear them might believe them and thus become a victim for those who are making fun of him.

The first mention of April Fool in the English language was in a magazine known as Dreck Magazine. On the second day of April in 1698 CE, this magazine mentioned that a number of people were invited to come and watch the washing of black people in the Tower of London on the morning of the first day of April.

'Aasim ibn 'Abd-Allaah al-Qurawayti wrote that many of us celebrate what is known as April fool or, if it is translated literally, the "trick of April". But how much do we know of the bitter secret behind this day? According to his research Islam was flourishing in Spain and those seeking the downfall of Islam made a careful study and concluded that it was because of the taqwa(piety) of the Muslims that Islam was so successful. So they introduced the younger Muslim generation to wine and other intoxicants and made such evils freely and cheaply available.

This tactic evil tactic produced results and the faith of the Muslims began to weaken, especially among the young generation in Spain. The result of that was that the enemies of Islam subdued the whole of Spain and put an end to the Muslim rule of that land which had lasted for more than eight hundred years. The last stronghold of the Muslims, in Grenada, fell on April 1^st, hence they considered this to be the "trick of April."

From that year until the present, they celebrate this day and consider the Muslims to be fools. They do not regard only the army at Granada to be fools who were easily deceived; rather they apply that to the entire Muslim Ummah. It is ignorant of us to join in these celebrations, and when we imitate them blindly in implementing this evil idea, this is a kind of blind imitation which confirms the foolishness of some of us in following them. Once we know the reason for this celebration, how can we celebrate our defeat?

Let us make a promise to ourselves never to celebrate this day. We have to learn from the Spanish experience and adhere to the reality of Islam and never allow our faith to be weakened again.

It does not matter what the origins of April fool are. What matters more is knowing the ruling on lying on this day, which custom we are sure did not exist during the first and best generations of Islam. It did not come from the Muslims, but rather from their enemies.

The evils perpetrated on April Fools' Day are many. Some people have been told that their child or spouse or someone who is dear to them has died and unable to bear this shock, they have suffered great trauma. Some have been told that they are being laid off, or that there has been a fire or an accident in which their family has been killed, so they suffer paralysis or heart attacks, or similar diseases. There are the endless stories and incidents that we hear of, all of which are lies which are forbidden in Islam and unacceptable to common sense or honest chivalry.

Islam forbids lying even in jest and it forbids frightening a Muslim whether in seriousness or in jest, in words or in actions.

Abu Umamah Al-Bahili (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, " I guarantee a home in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even if its just for the sake of fun'' (Hadith-Abu Dawud).

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah(RA) that the Messenger of Allah(peace be upon) said:"The signs of the hypocrite are three: when he speaks, he lies; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; and when he is entrusted with something, he betrays that trust." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 33; Muslim, 59)

Hazrat Wasilah[Allah be pleased with him] reported that the Messenger of Allah(peace be upon) said: "Do not display pleasure at your brothers misfortune."(Hadith-Tirmizi)

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah(RA) said: "They said, 'O Messenger of Allaah, you joke with us.' He said, 'But I only speak the truth. " (Hadith narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1990)

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Whoever imitates a people is one of them." (Hadith narrated by Ahmad)

It was narrated by Mu'aawiyah ibn Haydah[ra] that he heard the Prophet (pbuh) say: 'Woe to the one who talks to make the people laugh and tells lies, woe to him, woe to him." (narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 235. He said: this is a hasan hadeeth. Also narrated by Abu Dawood, 4990).

It was narrated by Asmaa´ bint Yazeed[ra] that the Messenger of Allaah (pbuh) said: "It is not permissible to tell lies except in three (cases): when a man speaks to his wife in a way to please her; lying in war; and lying in order to reconcile between people." (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1939)

When our Muslim Ummah is being disgraced and humiliated by the Kuffaar from East to West, how is it possible for a believer with even a minute degree of Imaan(faith) to engage in this evil custom of April Fool's Day!

Honesty is the only policy...

Honesty is the only policy…

 

Several years ago a Sheik recounted what happened to him after he had moved to London. He often took the bus from his home to the downtown area. Some weeks after he arrived, he had the occasion to ride the same bus. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him a twenty pence ('tuppence') too much change.  As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, you better give the twenty pence back. It would be wrong to keep it. Then he thought, "Oh, forget it, its only tuppence. Who would worry about this little amount? Anyway the bus company already gets too much fare; they will never miss it." Just than the verse of the Qur'an flashed through his mind like a lightning… "O you who believe!  Fear Allah and be with those who are truthful." (Qur'an-9:119).   When his stop came, the Sheik paused momentarily at the door, then he handed the twenty pence back to the driver and said, "Here, you gave me too much change". The driver with a smile, replied," Aren't you the new Imam in this area? I have been thinking lately about accepting Islam and going to worship at your Mosque. I just wanted to see what you would do, if I gave you too much change." When the Sheik stepped off the bus, his knees became weak and soft, he had to grab the nearest light pole and held on for support, and looked up to the heavens and cried, "Oh Allah, I almost sold You and Islam for twenty pence!"

 

In the pathway to wisdom, Honesty is the first step!

 

The final Messenger of Allah is reported to have said: "When something weighs on your conscience, give it up." [Hadith-Tirmidhi]

 

Wedding Planning- The Wedding of a Queen!

The Wedding of a Queen!

 

 

Fatimah (Radiyallahu Anha) is the youngest daughter of our beloved Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam). Out of all the children, she was the most beloved to him. He said, 'The Queen of the ladies in Jannat is Fatimah.' He also said, 'Fatimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me.'

 

Fatimah (Radiyallahu Anha) is the youngest daughter of our beloved Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam). Out of all the children, she was the most beloved to him. He said, 'The Queen of the ladies in Jannat is Fatimah.' He also said, 'Fatimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me.'

When Fatimah (Radiyallahu Anha) reached the age of fifteen, proposals for her marriage began to come from noble families. But the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) remained irresponsive.

Ali (Radiyallahu Anha) who was 21 at the time, says: It occurred to me that I should make a formal proposal, but then I thought, 'How could this be accomplished, for I possess nothing.' At last, encouraged by the Prophet's kindness, I went to him and expressed my intention to marry Fatima (Radiyallahu Anha). The Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) was extremely pleased and asked, 'Ali! Do you possess anything to give her in Mahr?' I replied, 'Apart from a horse and armour I possess nothing.'

The Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, 'A soldier must, of course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.'

So, Ali (Radiyallahu Anhu) went and sold his armour to Uthman (Radiyallahu Anhu) for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). Bilal (Radiyallahu Anha) was ordered by the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) to bring some perfume and a few other things and Anas (Radiyallahu Anha) was sent to call Abu Bakr, Uthman, Talha, Zubayr with some companions from the Ansar (Radiyallahu Anhum).

When these men arrived and had taken their seats, the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) recited the Khutbah (sermon) of Nikah and gave Fatimah (Radiyallahu Anha) in marriage to Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu). He announced, 'Bear you all witness that I have given my daughter Fatimah in marriage to Ali for 400 Mithqal of silver and Ali has accepted.' He then raised his head and made Dua saying, 'O Allah, create love and harmony between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children.' after the Nikah, dates were distributed.

When the time came for Fatimah (Radiyallahu Anha) to go to Ali's (Radiyallahu Anha) house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and cry accompanied by Umm Ayman (Radiyallahu Anha). After the Isha Salat, the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) went to their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both Ali (Radiyallahu Anhu) and Fatimah (Radiyallahu Anha) and made Dua for them.

The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.

Hence, with much simplicity the wedding of the daughter of the leader of the worlds was solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes easy to fulfill.

This blessed event teaches us important lessons pertaining to Nikah:

1. The many customs that accompany engagement ceremonies are contrary to the Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shariah and are regarded unlawful. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.
2. To perform Nikah at an early age is wise and beneficial.
3. It is advisable to invite close associates for the occasion of Nikah. However, extravagance should be avoided.
4. It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.
5. If the father of the girl is an Aalim or pious and capable of performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.
6. It is good to give the Mahr Fatimi as dower.There is no harm in giving less.
7. It is un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.
8. The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes at weddings is prohibited and contrary to the Shariah.
9. Great care must be taken as regards to Salat on occasions of marriage by all – including the bride and bridegroom.
10. The unnecessary expense incurred by the bride's family in holding a lavish feast has no basis in Shariah.
11. It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.
12. Three things should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:
- Gifts should be given within one's means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest for such presents);
- To give necessary items;
- A show should not be made of whatever is given.
13. It is Sunnat for the bridegroom's family to make Walimah.
(Note: In Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that there is no extravagance, show and that debt is not incurred in the process.)
14. To unduly delay Nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.

Irritation

Control That Everyday Scourge - Irritation
By Sister S Bemath

When you're pushed from all sides for quick answers, quick results and quick fit-in jobs- . . . constantly interrupted . . . misunderstood because those around you haven't listened and you have to repeat explanations. When you feel tired and have a headache and people make unreasonable demands . . . meet with criticism, ingratitude, intolerance and noise -- it's only natural to feel upset and irritated.

Irritation is common in this frenetic age. Even worse is the venting of it in snappy remarks like "Can't you see I'm busy?" If you've spent a long time trying to do a job well, it's easy to snarl, "If it isn't right, do it yourself." Yet, for your own sake and, because of the need to create harmony around you, it's essential to develop the habit, not only of controlling but transcending irritation.

In the East, it is taught that irritation produces a subtle inner poison which cuts off the channels of life-giving electricity that should flow freely through our body as invisible waves of distorted force, building a stagnant, unpleasant atmosphere and contaminating everything around us. We've all experienced the negative effects of a place, sensing that something is wrong but we don't quite know what.

On the other hand, what a joy it is to visit the home of someone who is calm, positive, serene in difficult circumstances and quick to utter a constructive, tension-breaking remark. Such a person creates an atmosphere which uplifts the spirits and makes us feel good, no matter how humble the setting. Of course, there may be times when it is necessary to express justified annoyance; but we must learn to do this in non-damaging ways at the right time, not as a snap-back reaction. Sometimes silence is the only response. Hasty words, hurled in a flash of irritation, can have long-lasting adverse effects.

"Surely silence can be sometimes the most eloquent reply." (Hadhrat Ali Ibn Abi Talib R.A.)

How can you protect yourself from expressing your own irritation, or from being at the receiving end of the another's? You can strive to be detached, observant and analytical. Detachment helps us not to identify with negative impressions. When you observe things impersonally, trying to analyse and understand the cause, you minimise hurtful effects. What is happening?, Why?, How can you improve the situation?

"Ignore them and you take the wind out of their sails, get irritated you give them the upper hand."

You must try to develop the habit of appreciation and gratitude -- try to see something good about the person or situation irritating you, or think of the negative happening as your opportunity, perhaps, to learn self-control and patience. Pray that Almighty ALLAH will change you and give you wisdom to deal with the situations better. Patience is a virtue and shows inner strength, just to put yourself in a position where you can smile at the situation and the irritation instead of getting upset with those causing it. You must try also, consciously, to build a joyful, beautiful atmosphere around you -- through the beautiful creations of ALLAH, plants and flowers; through orderliness (which cuts down on unnecessary irritation caused by losing things); and making brief breaks when things become hectic.

Hymn the praises of ALLAH TA'ALA (make zikr),go to a window to breathe some fresh air, do some neck, shoulder and eye exercises to release tension, or take a quick walk around the garden if you're at home, reflect, meditate, ponder etc Those few moments of tranquility can restore you and enable to cope better with irritating  circumstances. Respond positively and don't  just react impulsively!. A response is always considered creative and positive; a reaction usually hasty and negative. Strive, at least, for harmlessness in all you dealings.

And it helps to remember that those difficult people who upset and irritate us so much are our greatest teachers, for they help us develop qualities of patience and self-discipline. Since they, too, are part of ALLAH'S creation, we can pray for them, bless them silently, and ask for help in dealing with them. Above all, cultivate laughter, joy,prayer and serenity. These, perhaps, are your greatest weapons against that everyday scourge -- irritation.