Wednesday, October 13, 2010

“Fiqh of Love”


 "Fiqh of Love"


1-Great relationships don't just happen; they are created. You have to work at it.
2-If your job takes all of your best energy, your marriage will suffer.
3-One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is your own happiness.
4-It is possible to love and hate someone at the same time.
5-When you complain about your spouse to your friends, remember that their feedback can be distorted.
6-The only rules in your marriage are those you both choose to agree with.
7-It is not conflict that destroys marriage; it is the cold, smoldering resentment that you hold for a long time.
8-It's not what you've got, it's what you do with what you have.
9-If you think you are too good for your spouse, think again.
10-Growing up in a happy household doesn't ensure a happy marriage, or vice versa.
11-It's never too late to repair damaged trust.
12-The real issue is usually not the one you are arguing about.
13-Love isn't just a feeling; it is expressed through our actions.
14-Expectations set us up for disappointment and resentment.
15-Arguments cannot be avoided, but destructive arguments can be avoided.
16-One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is focused attention.
17-Even people with happy marriages sometimes worry that they married the wrong person.
18-Your spouse cannot rescue you from unhappiness, but they can help you rescue yourself.
19-The cost of a lie is far greater than any advantage you gain from speaking it.
20-Your opinion is not necessarily the truth.
21-Trust takes years to establish and moments to destroy.
22-Guilt-tripping won't get you what you really want.
23-Don't neglect your friends.
24-If you think, "You are not the person I married," you are probably right.
25-Resisting the temptation to prove your point will win you a lot of points.
26-Generosity of spirit is the foundation of a good marriage.
27-If your spouse is being defensive, you might be giving them reasons to be like that.
28-Marriage isn't 50/50; it's 100/100.
29-You can pay now or pay later, but the later you pay, the more interest and penalties you acquire.
30-Marriage requires sacrifice, but your benefits outweigh your costs.
31-Forgiveness isn't a one-time event; it's a continuous process.
32-Accepting the challenges of marriage will shape you into a better person.
33-Creating a marriage is like launching a rocket: once it clears the pull of gravity, it takes much less energy to sustain the flight.
34-A successful marriage has more to do with how you deal with your current reality than with what you've experienced in the past.
35-Don't keep feelings of gratitude to yourself.
36-There is no greater eloquence than the silence of real listening.
37-One of the greatest questions to ask your spouse is "How best can I love you?"
38-Marriage can stay fresh over time.
39-Assumptions are fine as long as you check them before acting upon them.
40-Intention may not be the only thing, but it is the most important thing.
41-Good sex won't make your marriage, but it'll help.
42-Privacy won't hurt your marriage, but secrecy will.
43-Possessiveness and jealousy are born out of fear, not love.
44-Authenticity is contagious and habit-forming.
45-If your spouse thinks something is important, then it is.
46-Marriage never outgrows the need for romance.
47-The sparkle of a new relationship is always temporary.
48-There is violence in silence when it's used as a weapon.
49-It's better to focus on what you can do to make things right, then what your partner did to make things wrong.
50-If you think marriage counseling is too expensive, try divorce.